*me coming down stairs*
mom: now that you’re awake, can you clean th-
- baby: d-d-da dd-de da-
- dad: daddy?
- baby: Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.
be careful with online relationships. just found out i’ve been dating a stapler for the last 7 years